Funniest dating in the dark moments

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At what moment did you realize you were dating an idiot? We were driving around this weird part of Las Vegas and I said, "This is surreal. We were watching Django, and during the winter training montage there is a moment where the camera pans over a herd of reindeer. At that moment my ex said something about how she thought it was weird that they would include reindeer in the movie because it kind of breaks the immersion. I was confused and asked what she meant by that. A surprising number of people don't realize reindeer are real animals. Like, why would there be a unicorn whale, right?

When she flipped out because her third grader came home with "erect" on a spelling list, and was on the verge of calling the school. She honestly had lived her entire life not knowing "erect" had any other use aside from describing a penis. I dated a guy for about a month until I found out that he didn't realize that women's breasts made actual milk to feed their babies. He thought "breast feeding" was just a way to hold a baby while giving it a bottle. I told him he was an idiot and he said, with a disgusted sneer, "I didn't know that because I have never known any woman, who had or would, breast feed their child.

That's the type of guy who only sees breasts as sexual objects, and would be offended if he saw a woman breastfed in public. When she thought I was crazy for putting pop tarts in a toaster. Or maybe it was the time she tried making hamburger helper for the first time at 27 years old and called me from the store to ask where they sold the "brown hamburger meat" I'm wasting away to nothing Oh I almost forgot the best part First time was when he told my parents he was a meatatarian because he eats everything.

The same guy told me that the bumps on the side of the highway are so blind drivers know when they run off the road.


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He was hot though. I had been dating this girl for a few months and it was Christmas time. We weren't super serious but it was serious enough that I was buying her Christmas presents. I found something for her that was perfect and it had a connection to some funny event involving her and my cat.

So I made the present from the cat.

I thought I was being cute and she would make the connection. Instead, she got pissed that my cat got her a present and I didn't. I thought she was joking. To make matters worse we were at her parents' place and they backed her up. It was extremely awkward and I realized it wasn't going to work out. I didn't even know what the hell to think. I just stood there in dumbfounded silence. What do you say to that?

Sorry I tried to make the gift more personal? You yell at the cat because you thought it was clear you were going to put BOTH names on the card. When I was helping her with Geography homework and she couldn't point out our own country on the map.

Dating In The Dark (UK) S03E03

She got me madlibs and when it was her turn to do a noun she asked "What is a noun? It went on for so long that I thought she must be thinking of the best noun I had ever heard. Then she said "place. She told me with a straight face that our horoscopes had changed and it was a bad idea to be together. In high school I was in an extracurricular program after school. There was one portion of it that was pretty much all girls. I dated a girl from this portion all throughout high school. I went to all of their events and helped out.

I always wondered why none of the other girls or their parents really talked to me. Right before we graduated I brought it up to her and she told me that she told all of them that I was physically and verbally abusive all the time. When I asked her why she told me it was so no one else would steal me away from her. I broke up with her shortly after. Dunno, the first two times I was sort of stunned and curious.

The second time she actually said, "The water goes right through. I've had this one cactus for maybe 2 years now. It leaks so I kinda never watered it. At this point I don't know if it's artificial or organic, but I don't really want to break it to find out. So I just keep it by my other plants and don't think about it. She kept trying to put food inside the rolling pin and then trying and flatten it by just rolling it around. I'm trying to imagine a rolling pin constructed in a way where you could put food inside it I've got that classic solid wooden roller design in my mind, and that's all I can think of.

Apparently most of these versions are crappy plastic kinds. A roommate of mine was dating this girl Very cute, super sweet. We were all in the living room watching another roommate play Call of Duty: World at War it was still new at the time. She eventually asks if this was based on a true story. We reply that although the specific characters likely didn't exist, the game was based on World War II.

What's World War II? When he said the colour orange didn't exist, because it was really just pink and red mixed together. Was on a hike and was following a trail I had read up on online. We get to a fork and I say "okay now we need to go north". She says "haven't we been this whole time? Confused, I look at her and ask why she says that. She replies "north is the direction in front of you yeah? Well, if it was true that they do always point Northwest, then yes, you could use them as a compass.

Just don't ask me what happens to my penis when I turn around.

Welcome to Reddit,

It's too painful to talk about. It was a story about how, in high school, two girls were talking about penises. Girl one says that her sister told her that penises don't point straight when erect, but instead point sort of north-west. Second girl says "doesn't that mean you could use it as a compass?

15 Hilarious and Awkward Moments From The Dark Depths of Tinder - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails

In my defense, this was back in I found it charming and endearing that he did funny voices, made funny idiosyncratic jokes, and occasionally called me "m'lady". I'm not sure I ever really met him. We were 16 at the time and went to go have sex. I realized I didn't have any condoms and thens when she told me I didn't need one because "I trust my body not to get pregnant".

I asked her what she was talking about and she told me it takes conscious effort to become pregnant and if she didn't want to be she would never conceive. Knew someone in high school who told a story about how once she was really nervous about getting pregnant. She wasn't, but when she finished her story, the teacher asked her if she checked for stds. My mom used to come up with weird deep answers to questions about like this, which confused 5yo me a whole lot.

When we were watching some documentary film with s footage, I asked her, why was the world all gray back then? My ex for 4 years, when she considered it not "cheating" to have sex with a woman, because "there's no dick inside of her". Bitch, it's still cheating! I told her a story about my childhood. Convinced the same girl that Whoopi Goldberg was married to Gerard Derpardieu As in her full name is 'Whoopi Doopi Doo'.

She tried to argue that we could get to the moon easier if we just built a spaceship that could go underwater, and flew it through the ocean to the moon during the day time rather than straight up. I think the "logic" is that the moon is underneath us during daytime, so why not just go underwater and reach it then. When she told me that babies could only happen if there were love, and the only way to get pregnant from a rape is if you loved your rapist. He shot himself in the leg twice while cleaning it. Shot himself in the calf the first time, then took out his kneecap the second time, same leg.

Took months of surgeries to fix it. He was probably fucking around with it like it's a toy. That's probably the BS excuse he conjured up. We were at a restaurant and she saw a picture of a buffalo and said "I wanna eat that pig". I was dying laughing. Probably one of the funniest people I've dated, but definitely wasn't too sharp. My ex thought that whenever I missed his call, the phone would still be ringing even after it went to voice mail.

I got at least three voice mails a week that consisted of silence and the odd annoyed, impatient sigh. I showed my wife this thread and she reminded me that I used to think yeast infections were a result of eating too much bread. My ex gf is 5'4" and petite.

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She wouldn't eat all day and have 3 martinis and black out. She would then claim she was allergic to alcohol. We were laying out under the stars and he asked why some were brighter and others dimmer. I told him that there were different sizes, brightnesses and distances away. I'm lying there thinking this can't be true. But oh yes, it was. Upon further questioning I found that he believed the night sky was a big dark blanket like thing with stars stuck on it.

The fact that our sun was a star also blew his mind and that just like our sun, other stars could have planets? I almost broke up with him there and then. But he was very earnest and wanted me to "teach him. Two years later and a whole lotta stupid later, we broke up. He worked with kids with special needs, and did a really good job at it.

He was well meaning generally. He wanted to become "the worlds leading expert in autism. So, I brought him along to my university library, where he spent a day copying a text book on autism or line by line. I asked him how it was going, he said great, then he and I had a conversation where I told him that to be a world expert on autism would take more than reading and copying books. It would involve research, or being really involved in the field and gaining formal education in it. After that one day in the library, he never went back.

I didn't say he couldn't, he just lost interest. He did that a lot, would get super stoked on one subject and then the next day it would just be over, forgotten. This happened with poker, after he watched the movie Rounders. He lived with s bunch of guys they all didn't like him, but he was completely oblivious to this, they asked me a lot why I was with him.

He set up poker night immediately and then lost all his money. Again, the next day, it was gone from his head. Same thing with "free" mountain climbing after we watched a mission impossible movie where Tom Cruise scaled a rock face with no ropes. I told him he should try "free" sky diving instead. I was getting pretty sick of this crap by this point. He laughed and it was gone from his mind again. His big dream and one that actually lasted the longest was that he wanted to be a mortgage broker, his Dad was one and was really successful.

He just couldn't do the math though. He had to take a course and I tried to teach him the formulas, but he just couldn't do it. We were running through problems and then he turned to me with an exasperated look on his face, "Why do the numbers keep changing?? This almost tied for the most stupid experience, the big blanket in the sky, but not knowing about space, and the sun and general knowledge of how the earth is situated in terms of our solar system..

For all those asking, he did not have a sweet dick. He was not especially attractive. He was sweet and well meaning sometimes, when he wanted to be, but he got more and more abusive as time went on. He controlled my every move by the end, and as I had low self-confidence I felt like it was my fault and that by being better, he would eventually treat me better. It did not, things were going towards physical abuse and I left. He stalked me a little afterwards. Through a natural move due to school, I took the opportunity to lay low and he left me alone, thankfully. It ended 15 years ago, and since then I've married and am very happy with his polar opposite, an extremely intelligent man..

Saw a few questions, we live on the East of England. And some guy thought it was from someone outside of Europe, we have both lived in England our entire lives; which makes this even more shameful. When I first went to London one neighbour asked "do you cross the sea to get there?

He insisted that women cannot be doctors, only nurses and vice versa. He said that the two are the exact same thing except one is male and one is female. He was in his early 20s. When she told me that she'd never been to France. I knew for a fact she went to Disneyland Paris every year. This is one of her more sensible questions but really she should know this. That's a fair question. Bears only lay eggs when they need a new queen, so it's a bit of a corner case.

We were texting back and forth and she said she was 'upsest with Bon Jovi'. I realized that it was a typo and asked why she was upset with Bon Jovi and she said 'No, I love him Doesn't every girl want to marry a prince? Except he was not really Prince Harry, but a lookalike named Matthew Hicks. The show was canceled after only 4 episodes with the rest airing online , but it was enough to establish itself as one of the more bizarre of recent reality shows.

I Wanna Marry "Harry" had all of the classic dating show tropes, including the smart girl, the crazy one, the sexy school teacher and the suitor who just wanted to find a girl to love him for who he really is a fake prince. But the show did not take off in the same way as many of the others because of the absurd lie contained at its very core, and the disbelief that accompanied it in the age of the internet. What is more important to a person: The person doing the choosing had no idea the other contestants were offered this deal. As the show went on over its 4 season run the twist changed each time to give it a new edge.

Like most of these reality dating shows, it seems the chances of finding true love are pretty slim. Which is more than anyone can ask for, really. Five women sit in chairs as 3o men go by on a literal conveyor belt. They have to decide, using paddles, if they are "interested" or "not interested" based solely on the man's looks and his 60 second elevator pitch.

If two women decide they like the same guy, the man then gets to choose. And thus the conveyor belt continues round and round again until one man is left rotating. The finale couples then go on a date. Sadly, it did not and the single episode was all viewers got to see the men's impersonations, turkey calls and poem recitations. Conveyor Belt of Love is perhaps one of the more fun and harmless of these dating shows.

There were no gimmicks or tricks other than the ones the guys used to woo the ladies. It was kind of sweet in its own way. They had to eliminate the people within these categories whom they did not want to date. The eliminated men or women would then parade by the picker so they could see what a mistake they made or did not make.

Do looks matter or is love truly blind? From the first initial group they must choose a person to go on a one-on-one date with, again all in the dark. Throughout the show the host gives clues, including a peek inside the person's bag and a look at personality profiles, so the individuals can get to know each other better. Sometimes it did all end well, with the couples deciding to date further, but the potential for rejection based purely on physical appearance was always there.

It was not until the final woman remained that the truth was revealed, and 40 million viewers tuned in to find out if she would still choose to love a man who had lied to her. The dates sit by in a van a MTV dating show staple , commenting on the action and sometimes explaining the reason for their mess. The teen would then go on dates with these new people, all while their parents watched with their kid's current beau.

There's nothing more awkward than going on a date while being watched by your parents There were almost always foul-mouthed confrontations between the parents and current partner. And rarely did the dater choose to date someone their parents wanted. But we ended up watching all the same, just in case. Five people all sitting on a bus waiting to see if their true love was waiting outside. If they made it off the bus though they got to go on a date.

We watched it for the antics of the remaining people left on the bus. Next was also made great by the contestant introductions. Feel free to use any of these to update your Tinder bio. Chains of Love is a perplexing. They spend every waking and sleeping moment chained together for four days; testing boundaries, personal space, and the amount of things people can do while chained together. At the end of the fourth day, the picker has to choose who annoyed them the least.

There are also challenges along the way the group has to go through, like-team building activities and dates. Chains of Love might have escaped your mind because of the short time it was on TV, but once you hear the ridiculous premise it's hard to forget it again.